Enough, This isn't for me

So I've fallen into my old habit of forgetting to blog, but today I have a rant to give. I'll give you some background about my career so you'll understand how big this is for me.

I've worked at this company for 4 years. They've been putting me through college. (Not paying for my college, but helping me make money while I'm in school) I won't name the business because it really is an awesome place. I'm just done. I recently asked them about getting a raise. I didn't say that i wanted one I just asked for the possibility of getting one. I wanted a no or yes answer. I got an order to give reasons why my job was so important that i should get a raise. That wasn't my question at all, but i did it anyway. I had a paper filled front to back of things only I did. Nothing happened. So I've been on edge for a bit, but was willing to live with it. I'm a customer service representative and I take my job seriously. I was there to help customers and that's what i did. Recently they had me start doing the mail run. except now that I'm in school that means I wasn't able to do customer service, but they still had me on that. I was there for maybe 1 1/2 hours per day the rest of the time was spent driving around. how could i help customers when i wasn't there. They still had me as the main customer service rep, and i begun to hate my job. given this impossible task I was sinking fast. I needed out, but here's the thing that pushed me over the edge because I was going to hang in there hoping it would get better. I was gathering my stuff getting ready to go on the bank run (second half to mail run) when I was gathering my stuff into a pile. A manager threw a stack of papers at me. I didn't know whose they were and what to do with them. It made me mad. How in the world could she do that. I was barely hanging off a cliff, and she came and stomped on my fingers making me loose grip. So i left. But i can't just leave without letting them know. So I will go back BUT I'm going to put in two weeks notice and then i will never go back.

Wow so my background story became my rant. I can't see how a NORMAL person can put up with that, but it wasn't a split decision. I've been planning to leave for a long time now. In fact probably as long as I've had the mail/bank run. I hate driving and this just forces me to do more.  This just isn't for me. I'm lining up another job because with the economy going down there's not much options for the unemployed, and i REFUSE to sign up for UN-employment. I actually cried for two days after deciding to quit. It was a big decision for me to make. I just can't take the lack of HUMAN respect. I mean who throws papers at people for no reason. I loved my job when i first started working there, it was magical. Now I just want out.

- adios amigos

-insanity1

P.S. I think I really went insane.

Suicidal?

So as i repeatedly try to get into my wordpress account. i fail everytime. I'm bored and I don't know what to say but i will update you on whats up with that guy in my spanish class.
So re-cap I turned him down, then told him he had no chances at all. ever. So today I wore boots.
our converse:
Him- i like your boots
Me- I like my boots to
walkwalkwalk
blahblahblah
Him-I like you flower its so pretty. in fact everything about you is beautiful today. why are you dressed up?
Me- thanks. I was bored
Him- LOL! you was bored!?
Me- yup for some reason I woke up at 5:00am this morning.
Him- Ya......blah....blah...blah

So like I'm on the way home and I start thinking about stuff but I can't figure something out. Here's the question I keep asking myself.
"If you let go of you steering wheel allowing your car to go berserk on the freeway and you cause a huge accident. If you die is it suicide?"
If it is I have now got suicidal thoughts in my head. If not then I just need to stop driving. either way i need to stop driving. Do you know what sucks? Life sucks and here's why. I was a Customer Service Representative and i did an awesome job. everybody said so. Next thing i know I'm now the mail man service. I just got DEMOTED that is the main cause of my thoughts. I liked being important. now I'm just a nobody. I'm the guy when they say lets fire somebody. they look at me.
I hate this!
Why can't I just be a Representative?!
Suicide is not an OPTION.
With the economy like it is would I be able to get another job?
This SUCKS!!!!!!!
I cried today because I felt so bad thinking that I might be having suicidal thoughts.
I need a change in my life.
My soul is tired.
I still hate this.



Last night was my 4 month anniversary. I got a rubber bracelet saying "My Mad Addiction"
want to know what my addiction is?
Love

Student Appreciation Day

guess what today is Sofia? (IDK what?) it Student Appreciation day!!!! and do you know what that means? (No, what?) Free things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They had a playing of the new spiderman in the Student Event Center and so i went in got my free bag of popcorn and found a chair.At the other end of my row was this girl and her friends. they were your normal bunch of kids except she had PINK hair, and it was awesome. The movie had already started, so i missed the beginning. I was thinking 'wait this all happened in the first movie' but i sat and watched cuz it was cool
i had to go to work at two but i really wanted to see this movie so i was thinking it would get over before i had to leave. But It didn't. So i missed the ending.
ON the way home I was thinking 'oh. that must have been a re-make. cuz all the same stuff happened.'
but i'm busy so catcha later.
adios amigas

WOW! that was weird

Hey yal,
its my second day of posting in a row since last year. I want to tell you something. (no judging ok :)
I don't date. its just not something im into, and im married. dating is just not for me.

Spanish class:
So a few weeks into the class this guy wants to be a study buddy. I'm like 'ok but I study in the tutoring lab' He comes with and we study. My next class starts in 10 minutes so I call it quits and gather my stuff up to go to class. He follows me out the building and to the front of the building my class is in. I say bye and turn to leave but he tries to hug me. (EEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I strategically stop him with a hand-shake. But so he sends me a message:
You seem like a really nice girl and i would like to get to know you.
But see theres one BIG problem with that. I don't want to get to know him. I turn him down instantly with:
I don't date.

Couple weeks later.
He wouldn't talk to me and that was ok with me. I didn't want to talk to him. SO after class i'm heading to my next class when he turns to me and says
".....I still wanna be your friend."
I was like ok. but heres one thing a GUY NEVER ever EVER wants to be "just friends" so im like no way.




CIS tutor:   (yup another one)
I would go to this lab and do my homework everyday. so i was consistently going into this lab. my biggest issue is that im trying really hard to get my spanish homework. the lab aid happens to know some spanish (not alot) so he'd help me sometimes (mostly in was confusing) and so he would randomly ask me questions about myself.  Then one day he asks me if i want to go do something. I told him that i didn't and i wouldn't want to during school. and he was like:
"think of something and tell me."
yeah right. what is with these people I'm married and i WEAR my ring everyday. guys are just so dumb.


But two in one semester that has never happened before. I just don't go to the lab anymore because whenever i do i can't get a moment of silence. the aid just pesters me. I found a better lab and its in the Language Tutor so it works for me. the Spanish kid, idk. I'll just ignore him.

*anything in (parenthesis) is just Sofia putting her thoughts in.

I know that today's post was kind of pointless but I'm studying for a Spanish quiz on Friday. and my brain is broken right now. 
you all read about the stalker, but her he left me alone albeit i was really creepy. but i did get peace and quiet.

- Insanity1

Re-Elected

So as you know this year is the election year. All of our senators are worried about getting re-elected into office that none of them will tell you a BIG problem coming up. I know about this because of my economic class, it is kind of scary because with the world ending this winter. It all seems so real now that there is one thing that looms closer every day, with every dollar spent.

There is a fiscal cliff that is looming ahead of us, and instead of taking care of it all the politicians are waiting until after the election to do anything about it. So as they make their empty promises to us so we will re-elect them into office, our country, this beautiful land is heading for a cliff. George Bush put in some tax cuts during his time in office. those will expire this fall, i hope our country doesn't expire with it.
Mr. Obama is making promises, but look at what he's done these past few years.
  Our national debt:



 Unemployment has more than doubled since President Obama took office. Why is that?
He has made it more expensive to higher a new employee.
He pushes for higher taxes.
Unemployment benefits.
Who would get a job if the government pays you benefits for being out of work?
This ignores the human nature. They started it and the benefits stopped after 6 months. but they keep lengthening it to accommodate for those who won't work. Where does that money come from? Hard earned taxes paid by those who do work. Stop giving money to the people to lazy to get a job and use it to pay off the national debt. they aren't making any money to give to the government. the government should not take the tax dollars away from the workers and give it to the lazy.
As he makes promises in his re-election speeches, think about what he's been doing in the past. it won't change. it doesn't matter, all his empty promises are just that empty. He will continue with what he was doing before.
Printing money to try and stimulate the economy can only end in disaster. look at our debt! if we print money that will only go up. and at a faster rate. We as citizens need to see beyond the silky curtain our politicians put up, and look at what they are doing.

So it has been like a year since I've posted, but here is my issue: I can't remember my password for my Wordpress.com account. I dont know what happened because I thought that I had stayed logged in, but nope :'''''''(
I wrote a letter to one of my teachers in the past, and it gets really extreme and its completely true. (I think)

Dear Teacher,

It has been many years since I’ve been in you class. I don’t remember what year it was. The ONLY thing I remember is what happened during one of your class periods. It was the day we announced what we wanted to be when we grow up. Not so bad, but its what you told me that forces to be remembered. It’s a mountain that I cannot climb……because of you.

Teacher: “Let’s go down the row, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Student 4: “I want to be a fireman!”

Student 3: “I want to be an office worker!”

Student 2: “I want to play football!”

Teacher: “Now let’s be realistic with our goals. You won’t be a football player, but maybe you could be a scientist.”

Student 2: “Ok a scientist sounds cool.”

Student 1: “I want to be what Heavenly Father wants me to be.”

Teacher: “very good”

Me: “I want to be a writer.”

Teacher: “That’s not a good goal. Heavenly Father can’t use you if you do that. You need to rethink what you’re going to be.”

Those words have built a wall stronger than I ever could. You placed this in my way, and with ever “I can’t” the wall gets thicker. I try so hard to find a way through this wall; breaking it, climbing, going around. But like you it is a clever wall, and it won’t let me pass. If I try climbing it becomes taller. Going around, it continues forever. Breaking it, it repairs itself. If only I could pass this wall then all my writing troubles will go away.

I’ve come to hate it that my words are trapped behind the wall you put in place. But I wonder if it continues to thrive because I believed you, and am afraid that Heavenly Father can’t use me. Only this block seems to stretch and grow. I didn’t try to become good at music because I was afraid I couldn’t be used to build the Kingdom. There are so many times where I could have gone and made a talent, but was afraid it couldn’t be used. So I let it pass me by. So many opportunities lost, but I can’t just blame you. I blame myself, but you are to blame for building the foundation. I blame you for all my writing troubles, because I HATE YOU!!!

Sincerely,

Me

So as you can see I went to school with alot of numbered students. LOL!

I wrote a poem, but it sucks so I'm going to re work it. I want to talk about some other stuff, but i will just do another post. because this one is long and I am tired of writing it. 

I am taking a spanish class so i will try to put some spanish into my blog. And well i will use this one because I'm locked out of my wordpress account. *sob* i feel so bad *sob*

I moved away so George (my wall) will not be putting comments in. But i can have Sofia (my couch) put hers in because shes soft and i sit on her. 

Buenos Dias!!!! (Good Afternoon)